As promised I have created a cleaned up version (without all my scribbles) of the menu I used for week one of the weight med program.
I want for you all to be able to view and print for your own use if you so desire, so I am trying this Box.com program. Lets hope it worked!
Click HERE for the menu download!
Friday, October 19, 2012
Weight Med: Friday Update
Happy Friday! Today I am down one pound. That makes my total weight 217.8. When I started on Sunday I was 220.8...so I was up a little yesterday and back down a bit today.
Where am I going wrong? Well, I succumb to break room temptations of pumpkin bars and cheese.
I hope to do better at not being tempted by those foods next week.
There is one other thing slowing my progress: I am not exercising enough. I have been so tired and sluggish that I have not had the energy to do anything remotely close to exercise.
I will have to do something about this.
Yet to come: menus for the first and second week.
TTFN
Amy
Where am I going wrong? Well, I succumb to break room temptations of pumpkin bars and cheese.
I hope to do better at not being tempted by those foods next week.
There is one other thing slowing my progress: I am not exercising enough. I have been so tired and sluggish that I have not had the energy to do anything remotely close to exercise.
I will have to do something about this.
Yet to come: menus for the first and second week.
TTFN
Amy
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Comfort Food Discomfort
And here I am doing this weight med program and finding myself fixated on all the delicious treats that are all over the place. Hot cocoa, cappuccino, pumpkin bars and delish crock pot stew, soups and chili!
I am stuck! I really want to lose weight, but I am also finding myself annoyed that I can't just live a "normal" life and eat those delicious foods without gaining three pounds back. You see, Sunday was the start of the program and I was steadily going down about 2 lbs a day. I had detoxed my body from all the caffeine and sugar and dairy that had been stored inside. Then the break room happened....I am surrounded by yummy comfort food all over the place.
Today I started thinking about Christmas cookies...if I can't eat them I ask myself, " the why bake them". I know me, and if I bake them, I will eat most of them myself. I think that I am coming to the conclusion that I am a compulsive eater.
I am also a working mom, as most of us are. It is really difficult to make good, sugar free, whole food meals when you are short on time and just need to get dinner on the table. I know this is an issue that seems to plague many of us working moms. So I succumb to using bottled marinades and sauces, which are filled with sugar and any other sugar substance with various names. I am finding how these are preventing my weight loss from happening.
So today I am annoyed and discouraged and feel, frankly, pissed that I have to do this to lose weight, be healthy and like the way that I look.
Oh yeah, and real kicker...the hubby eats just as bad as I do and ends up losing 2 lbs a day no matter what!
Thanks for letting me gripe, and I promise to put those menus and shopping lists up for you before the end of the week.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Weight Med- Update
I wanted to share with anyone reading the success that I have been having with the weight med program. Not only is it weight loss, but it is also a system detox which has flushed my body of sugar and caffeine and all the Excedrin I eat like tic tacs.
I will soon share with you the menu for the week and how I have been doing and what was tough, but for now I want to share that I am down 4 lbs. Yesterday was a set back because I gave in to break room temptations, but altogether, down 4 lbs.
I really only had a headache on the first and second days. By the third day I was feeling better.
Today is day 4 and I am hoping for an even easier day today.
This program is really forcing me to take a look at when and more importantly WHY I eat. I can find myself wanting something, even though I am not hungry. So really looking into those feelings will help in the long run.
I have also found that I have had no pain in my pelvis...that's right NONE! Pelvis pain for me is related to my PCOS and the oversized ovaries I sport...but I have not had any of the debilitating pain. Before I started this program, my chin was full of really gross acne, and painful. By the third day, my acne was disappearing. This might be the secret to controlling my PCOS. (I emphasize MY PCOS-since this might not work for everyone)!
I will post more soon!
TTFN
I will soon share with you the menu for the week and how I have been doing and what was tough, but for now I want to share that I am down 4 lbs. Yesterday was a set back because I gave in to break room temptations, but altogether, down 4 lbs.
I really only had a headache on the first and second days. By the third day I was feeling better.
Today is day 4 and I am hoping for an even easier day today.
This program is really forcing me to take a look at when and more importantly WHY I eat. I can find myself wanting something, even though I am not hungry. So really looking into those feelings will help in the long run.
I have also found that I have had no pain in my pelvis...that's right NONE! Pelvis pain for me is related to my PCOS and the oversized ovaries I sport...but I have not had any of the debilitating pain. Before I started this program, my chin was full of really gross acne, and painful. By the third day, my acne was disappearing. This might be the secret to controlling my PCOS. (I emphasize MY PCOS-since this might not work for everyone)!
I will post more soon!
TTFN
Monday, October 15, 2012
Weight Med Program
Here is how I hope to lose 30 pounds:
Name of the game: Weight Med Program
Duration: 60 days
Weight Loss Goal: 0.5 lb per day.
I purchased Weight Med Homeopathic Solution from www.evitaminmarket.com. Click here and see to what product I am referring. I have the support of my chiropractor, who endorsed this product. Disclaimer: It is important to get the support of a medical professional before starting any diet.
Here is the list of foods I will eat over the next 60 days:
Fruits: Apples, apricots (fresh), Bananas, Blackberries, Cherries, Cranberries, Grapefruit, Guava, Kiwis, Lemons, Limes, Oranges, Papayas, Peaches, Plums, Raspberries, Strawberries, & Tangerines
Veggies: Asparagus, Bean Sprouts, Beet Greens, Broccoli, Cabbage, Cauliflower, Celery, Cucumber, Lettuce, Radishes, Spinach, Swiss Chard, Brussels Sprouts, Kale, Onion, Peas, Green Beans, & Tomatoes.
Protien: Chicken (organic), Fish (cod, tilapia, walleye, halibut, flounder, shrimp, crab), Beef (organic grass fed), Turkey, Cottage Cheese, Eggs, Almonds, Walnuts, Pistachios.
Beverages: Water (filtered), Coffee (black), Green Tea, Oolong Tea, Yerba Mate Tea, Chamomile Tea
Sweeteners: Stevia.
The nice things is, there is NO limit to the number of calories for intake so long as I eat only what is on this list.
The plan: 1/2 dropper of solution (under tongue) 30 mins before Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Aside from those three main meals, I will eat an afternoon snack, and a evening snack. If need be, I will add a morning snack between breakfast and lunch.
The Meal Plan: Breakfast- Fruit and tea and water plus vitamins.
Lunch: Protein, Veggie, and Water or tea. I also added a fruit to balance out my carb intake.
Dinner: Protein, Veggie, Water
Afternoon snack: Nuts and Fruit and LOTS of water
Evening snack: Protein (Egg or nuts), Veggie and water or Chamomile Tea.
You should drink half your body weight in ounces of water! This will help tremendously.
Exercise Plan: 15 mins of yoga (lite) in the morning, and 30 min walk daily. I will add in more when and where I can.
I will also take a multi vitamin, Omega 3, Vitamin D, and a B-12.
Be watching, as I will share my menu plan and shopping list!
READY. SET. GO!
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Malfunction Junction...How do I fix what's not working?
As I have shared many times, I have PCOS. Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome. If you don't know what it means or what it does to a woman's body, just ask me. You can google it too. I have spent a lot of time researching the ways that my body doesn't work like that of a "normal" functioning female.
You can also search how to treat PCOS. A doctor will give you medications that combat or cover up the symptoms. I have been given oral contraceptives, Metformin, and Levothyroxin (thyroid med). The Metformin never worked for me and neither did the thyroid medication I was still gaining weight and loosing my hair (on my head), while growing thicker and more masculine hair on the rest of my body.
After having "M", the pill stopped working for me. I experienced nothing but chronic pelvic pain every day of every week of every month I was on the pill. Plus, I was afraid of getting cancer from the pill...so I took myself off of it.
Since the time I have taken myself off I have done very little to try to combat my PCOS. It is recommended that women with PCOS maintain a healthy weight and BMI. The irony, a lot of us with PCOS can't loose weight worth a darn.
I have a great friend who has introduced me to different holistic medications and supplements. I completed a couple of liver cleanses and found that after each one I had less cravings, less stomach trouble and that combined with chiropractics and supplements, I was menstruating.
In May, I tried the HCG diet through the Chiropractor so that it was done with good guidelines and support. It did not work. If you look back at this post, you will see that this diet was not the way to loosing weight for me.
So now I share with you that I am embarking on a new attempt to take off some weight so that I am comfortable with more vigorous exercise and increasing the health and wellness of my "girl" parts.
This new plan is called Weight Med. It is done using a homeopathic solution three times a day and eating fruits, veggies, and lean meats/seafood for 60 days. There are no calorie limits like that HCG diet. I can use good oils, like Omegas, and eat nuts. Just like the HCG, there can be no sugar, except the fruit and Stevia, and no starches like bread & pasta. I will also have to cut out my dairy except fate free cottage cheese. I don't expect this to be easy, but I am willing to try so that I can regain control over my health and wellness.
I would like to share with you my progress and my experience so that if you find yourself facing "last resort" times with your weight and wellness, you may find support in what I have to say. Not to mention, if I am sharing with all of you, I am more accountable to the plan.
Please feel free to use the comment section for questions or words of support. No need to comment about being careful with my body or making a harmful choice, as all risks have been considered and accounted for.
Thank you for taking this journey with me.
You can also search how to treat PCOS. A doctor will give you medications that combat or cover up the symptoms. I have been given oral contraceptives, Metformin, and Levothyroxin (thyroid med). The Metformin never worked for me and neither did the thyroid medication I was still gaining weight and loosing my hair (on my head), while growing thicker and more masculine hair on the rest of my body.
After having "M", the pill stopped working for me. I experienced nothing but chronic pelvic pain every day of every week of every month I was on the pill. Plus, I was afraid of getting cancer from the pill...so I took myself off of it.
Since the time I have taken myself off I have done very little to try to combat my PCOS. It is recommended that women with PCOS maintain a healthy weight and BMI. The irony, a lot of us with PCOS can't loose weight worth a darn.
I have a great friend who has introduced me to different holistic medications and supplements. I completed a couple of liver cleanses and found that after each one I had less cravings, less stomach trouble and that combined with chiropractics and supplements, I was menstruating.
In May, I tried the HCG diet through the Chiropractor so that it was done with good guidelines and support. It did not work. If you look back at this post, you will see that this diet was not the way to loosing weight for me.
So now I share with you that I am embarking on a new attempt to take off some weight so that I am comfortable with more vigorous exercise and increasing the health and wellness of my "girl" parts.
This new plan is called Weight Med. It is done using a homeopathic solution three times a day and eating fruits, veggies, and lean meats/seafood for 60 days. There are no calorie limits like that HCG diet. I can use good oils, like Omegas, and eat nuts. Just like the HCG, there can be no sugar, except the fruit and Stevia, and no starches like bread & pasta. I will also have to cut out my dairy except fate free cottage cheese. I don't expect this to be easy, but I am willing to try so that I can regain control over my health and wellness.
I would like to share with you my progress and my experience so that if you find yourself facing "last resort" times with your weight and wellness, you may find support in what I have to say. Not to mention, if I am sharing with all of you, I am more accountable to the plan.
Please feel free to use the comment section for questions or words of support. No need to comment about being careful with my body or making a harmful choice, as all risks have been considered and accounted for.
Thank you for taking this journey with me.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Confessions of a Shopaholic...
Welcome to a new subcategory of my captivating life.
I. am. a. shopaholic.
Be it clothes, shoes, kids stuff, organizational stuff, and yes even groceries (this leads to another new subcategory ..more on that later).
Seems I can get make it through a Friday a.k.a payday without over spending on any of the above listed items. I think about it all day. What can I buy? What do we need at home? What project do I want to do? What can I get to give to someone else? Yes, in my brain, if I buy it as a gift for someone else or because I want to do something nice for someone, it is justifiable to spend money. The "H" and I do not have credit cards. We discovered early into our marriage that we were not properly taught how to use credit, therefore we never used our credit the "right" way. Which leads up to debt and financial demise. Well, we are not destitute, but we are in the process of cleaning up our credit and changing our habits.
Before I get into that whole journey, I wanted to share with you a little about my shopping experience. What you need to know about me is that I am frugal and hate to spend money on myself. I like purses because they are one size fits all basically, which leads me to the last thing you need to know about me, I am plus size with short stubby legs. Anything I buy I have to almost always have tailored to fit my legs. This means I always have to factor in the cost of that with the items I am purchasing.
Fast forward: I like to shop consignment for me and for "M". The "H" not so much because it is harder to shop second hand for men.
Today I went to my favorite place to shop for myself. Clothes Mentor in Burnsville. I always find great and amazing items to make great outfits. Plus it doesn't break the bank. It's not supposed to, anyway.
If you have never been before, you should go. It is awesome! Accessories to shoes, you will not be disappointed. Plus, the staff there are super! Helpful, kind, and willing to give you their opinion when you ask. All in all, this is a totally classy joint. I am never disappointed.
I have been to Clothes Mentor over a dozen times since I discovered it about a year ago. I always notice that Plato's Closet right down the side walk from CM. I have never gone in, until today. Boy was the a letdown. The place is so disorganized I could not where some things ended and others began. It was super loud from the "clubbing" music they were playing. I stood in line for 15 mins, while there was NO ONE ahead of me, before I got checked out. The quality of the items was poor. The place smelled like a locker room. I found one scarf that I liked and decided to purchase, I am a shopaholic after all, but I am sure I wont be going back there. Lastly, they had nothing plus size.
So if my vote counts for anything, I am stand behind Clothes Mentor all the way. Spend the extra 2 bucks per item and go to a classier spot to shop for adult women's clothing.
And that is my confession for the day!
I. am. a. shopaholic.
Be it clothes, shoes, kids stuff, organizational stuff, and yes even groceries (this leads to another new subcategory ..more on that later).
Seems I can get make it through a Friday a.k.a payday without over spending on any of the above listed items. I think about it all day. What can I buy? What do we need at home? What project do I want to do? What can I get to give to someone else? Yes, in my brain, if I buy it as a gift for someone else or because I want to do something nice for someone, it is justifiable to spend money. The "H" and I do not have credit cards. We discovered early into our marriage that we were not properly taught how to use credit, therefore we never used our credit the "right" way. Which leads up to debt and financial demise. Well, we are not destitute, but we are in the process of cleaning up our credit and changing our habits.
Before I get into that whole journey, I wanted to share with you a little about my shopping experience. What you need to know about me is that I am frugal and hate to spend money on myself. I like purses because they are one size fits all basically, which leads me to the last thing you need to know about me, I am plus size with short stubby legs. Anything I buy I have to almost always have tailored to fit my legs. This means I always have to factor in the cost of that with the items I am purchasing.
Fast forward: I like to shop consignment for me and for "M". The "H" not so much because it is harder to shop second hand for men.
Today I went to my favorite place to shop for myself. Clothes Mentor in Burnsville. I always find great and amazing items to make great outfits. Plus it doesn't break the bank. It's not supposed to, anyway.
If you have never been before, you should go. It is awesome! Accessories to shoes, you will not be disappointed. Plus, the staff there are super! Helpful, kind, and willing to give you their opinion when you ask. All in all, this is a totally classy joint. I am never disappointed.
I have been to Clothes Mentor over a dozen times since I discovered it about a year ago. I always notice that Plato's Closet right down the side walk from CM. I have never gone in, until today. Boy was the a letdown. The place is so disorganized I could not where some things ended and others began. It was super loud from the "clubbing" music they were playing. I stood in line for 15 mins, while there was NO ONE ahead of me, before I got checked out. The quality of the items was poor. The place smelled like a locker room. I found one scarf that I liked and decided to purchase, I am a shopaholic after all, but I am sure I wont be going back there. Lastly, they had nothing plus size.
So if my vote counts for anything, I am stand behind Clothes Mentor all the way. Spend the extra 2 bucks per item and go to a classier spot to shop for adult women's clothing.
And that is my confession for the day!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Momma Madness
I have not been blogging as of late. Not for a long time actually.
So many things have happened since I lost blogged. I got a new job, which I love, summer has come and gone, and I became an LSW. That is something that I have been working towards for some time now.
As a mom I struggle with alone time, as any mother does. We all want it, but we all feel guilty for wanting it or taking it. As a working mom, I feel even more guilty about wanting it and needing it.
I know that if I do not take it, I will not be the best version of me for my little guy and my big guy. I struggle with finding the time to actually take that alone time. Between a part time job and a full time job plus my mom/wife duties, I am left with little time. And throughout the days and/or weeks between alone time periods I find that the condition of the space in which I use my alone time looks a little something like this:
The minor cleaning jobs or mere attempts to eat dinner at the table, leave me with piles of items on top of my "alone time" space. To actually engage in some relaxing activities for myself, I would have to engage in some serious cleaning and organization just to get to the bottom of the misc. pile on my desk.
So many things have happened since I lost blogged. I got a new job, which I love, summer has come and gone, and I became an LSW. That is something that I have been working towards for some time now.
As a mom I struggle with alone time, as any mother does. We all want it, but we all feel guilty for wanting it or taking it. As a working mom, I feel even more guilty about wanting it and needing it.
I know that if I do not take it, I will not be the best version of me for my little guy and my big guy. I struggle with finding the time to actually take that alone time. Between a part time job and a full time job plus my mom/wife duties, I am left with little time. And throughout the days and/or weeks between alone time periods I find that the condition of the space in which I use my alone time looks a little something like this:
 |
| Underneath it all is my neglected scrap booking stuff. |
Is this "mess and disorganization" a symptom of a severe lack of space, you bet! But we have to make that work as we are here for a while yet.
This leads to a much bigger question: How do working mom's handle the different directions they are being pulled in. I feel that I have certain duties and obligations to my family, but cannot live up to them since I am working not one, but two jobs. Forget about even making time for friends, the few precious hours a week that I am not working or helping someone else out I end up just sitting with my little guy and enjoying him. I suppose this is the dilemma that faces many of us working women.
How do you find time for yourself or your friends?
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Delayed
Sorry for the lack of updates. It has been long and difficult couple of days.
First, the 500 calories a day has made me very tired and very hungry and very crabby!
Second, I was not able to keep my blood sugar high enough to feel well through this process. My blood sugar got as low as 55 and only as high at 87. It was dropping after I would eat, which is the wrong direction!
I knew there was a chance that my PCOS and insulin resistance would complicate this process, but I didn't know how much. I also did not loose any weight. On the up side, I did however, successfully cleanse myself of soda and caffeine. Until I can decide what I am going to do now, I will remain caffeine free!
My apologies for those of you who might have been looking for a great result, I know that I am bummed!
Amy
First, the 500 calories a day has made me very tired and very hungry and very crabby!
Second, I was not able to keep my blood sugar high enough to feel well through this process. My blood sugar got as low as 55 and only as high at 87. It was dropping after I would eat, which is the wrong direction!
I knew there was a chance that my PCOS and insulin resistance would complicate this process, but I didn't know how much. I also did not loose any weight. On the up side, I did however, successfully cleanse myself of soda and caffeine. Until I can decide what I am going to do now, I will remain caffeine free!
My apologies for those of you who might have been looking for a great result, I know that I am bummed!
Amy
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Here Comes the Hard Days
Today was day 2 of Gorging and HCG drops. It was tough for me to gorge today as I was not as planned as I should have been. Hubby and I spent a lot of money on fast food for these 2 gorge days as we knew these items had a high fat content. I am just hoping that we did enough to prevent us from struggling tomorrow.
Start weight today for me was 215. Might be a fluke, but it was down 2 lbs. Hubby's weight was a mistake yesterday. His initial weigh in was 252. He weighed in today at 250, also down 2 lbs. We shall see is this trend keeps up.
So the rest of this week's meals are as follows:
Wednesday: Breakfast-none & drops. Lunch: 100grams Chicken breast (cooked on forman grill), Sliced cucumbers, strawberries. Homemade dressing for the cucumbers. Drops & lots of water. Dinner-Taco salad a la HCG regulations. Drops & lots of water.
Thursday: Breakfast-none & drops and water. Lunch: Asian Salad (with chicken and orange), drops & water. Dinner: Bunless burgers, cucumbers, & Apple Salad. Drops & water.
Friday: Breakfast-none & drops. Lunch- Apple Cobbler, Celery Sticks & 100 grams steak. Drops & water. Dinner- Chicken fajitas with celery and grapefruit. Drops & water.
I will post my recipes when I have more time. Right now I need to prep for tomorrow's meals. I am pre-cooking the chicken breasts and pre-measuring out the beef so that it all matches the regulations.
Thanks for the support!
Amy
Start weight today for me was 215. Might be a fluke, but it was down 2 lbs. Hubby's weight was a mistake yesterday. His initial weigh in was 252. He weighed in today at 250, also down 2 lbs. We shall see is this trend keeps up.
So the rest of this week's meals are as follows:
Wednesday: Breakfast-none & drops. Lunch: 100grams Chicken breast (cooked on forman grill), Sliced cucumbers, strawberries. Homemade dressing for the cucumbers. Drops & lots of water. Dinner-Taco salad a la HCG regulations. Drops & lots of water.
Thursday: Breakfast-none & drops and water. Lunch: Asian Salad (with chicken and orange), drops & water. Dinner: Bunless burgers, cucumbers, & Apple Salad. Drops & water.
Friday: Breakfast-none & drops. Lunch- Apple Cobbler, Celery Sticks & 100 grams steak. Drops & water. Dinner- Chicken fajitas with celery and grapefruit. Drops & water.
I will post my recipes when I have more time. Right now I need to prep for tomorrow's meals. I am pre-cooking the chicken breasts and pre-measuring out the beef so that it all matches the regulations.
Thanks for the support!
Amy
Monday, May 21, 2012
Day 1 (Gorge Day)
Today was day 1 of the HCG diet. Stats: Me: 217 lbs, Bust: 49 '', Belly/Waistline 45 3/4'', Hips 45''. Hubby: Wt 257#, Neck 18'', Chest 48 1/4'', Belly/mid-section 49 1/4 inches, Waist 46 1/2''.
Gorge day is the first day of HCG drops and we are supposed to gorge ourselves until we are full. The more we gorge on, the less hungry and cranky we will likely be the rest of the week after the gorge days. It was actually tough to gorge for me, because as a result of the drops, I had no appetite. Here's what we ate: Fried egg and cheese sandwich, cereal bar, almonds and walnuts, popcorn, choc. chip cookies, Chipotle for lunch with lots of sour cream and guacamole, hot dogs, mac and cheese, doritos, red velvet cup cakes and peanut better toast. YIKES!! Not to mention, I almost drank half my weight in ounces of water today. OY!
Tomorrow is more of the same, as it is the last gorge day until we start the VLCD (very low caloric diet) portion of the HCG plan. Now that I don't feel like I am hungry or have an appetite, I think I can manage this for 30 days. Check back with me and forgive me if I have changed my mind at the end of the week.
I will be posting our beginning photos and our menus plus shopping experiences, so stay tuned....
Amy
Gorge day is the first day of HCG drops and we are supposed to gorge ourselves until we are full. The more we gorge on, the less hungry and cranky we will likely be the rest of the week after the gorge days. It was actually tough to gorge for me, because as a result of the drops, I had no appetite. Here's what we ate: Fried egg and cheese sandwich, cereal bar, almonds and walnuts, popcorn, choc. chip cookies, Chipotle for lunch with lots of sour cream and guacamole, hot dogs, mac and cheese, doritos, red velvet cup cakes and peanut better toast. YIKES!! Not to mention, I almost drank half my weight in ounces of water today. OY!
Tomorrow is more of the same, as it is the last gorge day until we start the VLCD (very low caloric diet) portion of the HCG plan. Now that I don't feel like I am hungry or have an appetite, I think I can manage this for 30 days. Check back with me and forgive me if I have changed my mind at the end of the week.
I will be posting our beginning photos and our menus plus shopping experiences, so stay tuned....
Amy
Sunday, May 20, 2012
What it is
In my last post I explained that the hubby and I were beginning the HCG diet/cleanse very soon. Well, it struck me that there might be people who do not know what the HCG diet is.
Basically, it is taking natural Human Chorionic Gonadotropin and eating a 500 calorie diet for 26 days. There are no refined sugars, no sugars, and no cheating. We are supposed to stick to a very strict menu of food items and cannot eat anything processed {hence the cleanse portion}. There is no working out during this 26 days as we will be burning far too many calories to eat only 500 calories and exercise on top of it.
After the 500 cal 26 days with the drops, for 26 more days we eat an increased diet, without the drops. We should only increase our intake by a tiny bit, but still keeping processed foods and sugars out of our diets. It has been found that through this process the Hypothalamus {which is in the brain} resets what it thinks is your base weight. The hypothalamus also helps regulate other stuff too. I can actually reset my Thyroid through this process and get it to work properly again too. When those two things are working properly for me, guess what, so will my reproductive organs. I might for the first time since high school, have a normal/regular menstrual cycle. As a result, when the time is right, Hubby and I may not have to use fertility treatments in order to conceive. While the thought of getting pregnant is both thrilling and scary, that is NOT the driving force behind starting this diet/cleanse. I know that I am not healthy enough at this time to even support and growing fetus.
For anyone out there who is thinking that I am insane for doing this and that I am making a big mistake, you should know that I have done so many other things to try to get my weight back to a normal weight and normal BMI. I have been 220 lbs since I stopped nursing is 2010. I was 220 lbs when I conceived Little Man through infertility treatments. I lost weight while I was pregnant {how does that happen} even though I was not sick one minute of my pregnancy.
I have done my research and I have tried many many other things. My endocrinologist suggested I have Gastric Bypass. NO THANK YOU!! So I am doing this instead!
I will share my progress and my experience through this 26 days.
Amy
Basically, it is taking natural Human Chorionic Gonadotropin and eating a 500 calorie diet for 26 days. There are no refined sugars, no sugars, and no cheating. We are supposed to stick to a very strict menu of food items and cannot eat anything processed {hence the cleanse portion}. There is no working out during this 26 days as we will be burning far too many calories to eat only 500 calories and exercise on top of it.
After the 500 cal 26 days with the drops, for 26 more days we eat an increased diet, without the drops. We should only increase our intake by a tiny bit, but still keeping processed foods and sugars out of our diets. It has been found that through this process the Hypothalamus {which is in the brain} resets what it thinks is your base weight. The hypothalamus also helps regulate other stuff too. I can actually reset my Thyroid through this process and get it to work properly again too. When those two things are working properly for me, guess what, so will my reproductive organs. I might for the first time since high school, have a normal/regular menstrual cycle. As a result, when the time is right, Hubby and I may not have to use fertility treatments in order to conceive. While the thought of getting pregnant is both thrilling and scary, that is NOT the driving force behind starting this diet/cleanse. I know that I am not healthy enough at this time to even support and growing fetus.
For anyone out there who is thinking that I am insane for doing this and that I am making a big mistake, you should know that I have done so many other things to try to get my weight back to a normal weight and normal BMI. I have been 220 lbs since I stopped nursing is 2010. I was 220 lbs when I conceived Little Man through infertility treatments. I lost weight while I was pregnant {how does that happen} even though I was not sick one minute of my pregnancy.
I have done my research and I have tried many many other things. My endocrinologist suggested I have Gastric Bypass. NO THANK YOU!! So I am doing this instead!
I will share my progress and my experience through this 26 days.
Amy
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
It's GO time...
That's right, it's go time! In my last post I talked about making changes to my lifestyle and the ruler for change and all that. Well, I did a lot of thinking and praying and talking with the good ol' hubby about making these changes and he surprised me by saying that he would like to join in on making these changes.
Yes folks, I did fall over in shock, as the changes that I am referring to have to do with our eating habits and making D.R.A.S.T.I.C changes to what and how we are eating.
In just a few short days, Hubby and I will begin the HCG diet. We did not go out and buy the store HCG. We are doing through the support of our wonderful chiropractor and are real HCG drops. These drops will NOT make me pregnant nor will they make Hubby experience feminization (I think I just made this word up) of his body.
Over the next 30 days, you will hear me say "I can do anything for 30 days, right?" Please do me the kindness of responding, "Yes, you can. You are strong enough and have the courage to make it through." I would really appreciate the support. What we are starting is more of a life long commitment to eating and living healthier. This is scary, but results will outweigh the struggle that we will most likely feel.
I hope to have the heart and time to blog daily through this process with how things are going and what results we are seeing. My goal would be to help provide some support and guidance to anyone else who might be contemplating this diet and lifestyle change. I will share how Hubby and I make this work for us and any tools that we use to make these changes.
{That's it universe. I put this out there, now bring back good results}
Amy
Yes folks, I did fall over in shock, as the changes that I am referring to have to do with our eating habits and making D.R.A.S.T.I.C changes to what and how we are eating.
In just a few short days, Hubby and I will begin the HCG diet. We did not go out and buy the store HCG. We are doing through the support of our wonderful chiropractor and are real HCG drops. These drops will NOT make me pregnant nor will they make Hubby experience feminization (I think I just made this word up) of his body.
Over the next 30 days, you will hear me say "I can do anything for 30 days, right?" Please do me the kindness of responding, "Yes, you can. You are strong enough and have the courage to make it through." I would really appreciate the support. What we are starting is more of a life long commitment to eating and living healthier. This is scary, but results will outweigh the struggle that we will most likely feel.
I hope to have the heart and time to blog daily through this process with how things are going and what results we are seeing. My goal would be to help provide some support and guidance to anyone else who might be contemplating this diet and lifestyle change. I will share how Hubby and I make this work for us and any tools that we use to make these changes.
{That's it universe. I put this out there, now bring back good results}
Amy
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Ch-Ch-Changes
Change comes in many forms. We all have ideas of what we would change and the reasons behind those changes. When change isn't successful or we don't see it through all the way, we can get discouraged and give up. This is a pattern with which I am quite familiar. Learning how to break this pattern can be quite difficult and I feel like I am on the path to breaking it, so I wanted to share with others what I have learned.
For a while now I have been at the contemplation stage of [big fancy psychology word] change. I have been essentially deciding whether or not I want to make permanent changes to my life. Ironically, my journey through the stages of change parallels that of the clients I serve through adult mental health services. This month I have been working with clients that are not really progressing on to the next stages of change (aka...managing their mental health symptoms enough to overcome barriers to adaptable life). So the 5 stages of this model of change are pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance. I think that I smash together the contemplation and action stages and skip the preparation stage...guess what, this sets me up for failure and disappointment.
When deciding to make changes in ones life, we should look at the 3 elements of motivational interviewing to really determine the level of commitment to making said changes. The 3 elements can be measured on the Ruler of change (1 through 10, 1 least 10 most).
When making plans for a change in your life here are the elements to ask yourself about.
1. Importance: How important is this to me on a scale of 1-10?
2. Confidence: How confident am I that I will be successful on a scale of 1-10?
3. Readiness: How ready am I for this change to happen on a scale of 1-10?
If importance his high and confidence is high, but readiness is low, then changes are there will be no progression towards reaching whatever the goal may be.
This might explain why I am stuck in the contemplation stage. Not all of the scores of my Ruler for change are high. In fact, I am not sure that any of my scores on those 3 elements are high enough to move to another stage. Importance is the highest ranking element, because intellectually I KNOW and FEEL that the changes I want to make are important to me and my family, but I hold no confidence that I can make it.
A little bit of me isn't necessarily ready to let my old life go and start new. So what will push me over the edge and make it to the next stage?
Give this a try and let me know what you think...did it work and did it provide you would more successful outcomes. I sure hope it does for me.
-Amy
For a while now I have been at the contemplation stage of [big fancy psychology word] change. I have been essentially deciding whether or not I want to make permanent changes to my life. Ironically, my journey through the stages of change parallels that of the clients I serve through adult mental health services. This month I have been working with clients that are not really progressing on to the next stages of change (aka...managing their mental health symptoms enough to overcome barriers to adaptable life). So the 5 stages of this model of change are pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance. I think that I smash together the contemplation and action stages and skip the preparation stage...guess what, this sets me up for failure and disappointment.
When deciding to make changes in ones life, we should look at the 3 elements of motivational interviewing to really determine the level of commitment to making said changes. The 3 elements can be measured on the Ruler of change (1 through 10, 1 least 10 most).
When making plans for a change in your life here are the elements to ask yourself about.
1. Importance: How important is this to me on a scale of 1-10?
2. Confidence: How confident am I that I will be successful on a scale of 1-10?
3. Readiness: How ready am I for this change to happen on a scale of 1-10?
If importance his high and confidence is high, but readiness is low, then changes are there will be no progression towards reaching whatever the goal may be.
This might explain why I am stuck in the contemplation stage. Not all of the scores of my Ruler for change are high. In fact, I am not sure that any of my scores on those 3 elements are high enough to move to another stage. Importance is the highest ranking element, because intellectually I KNOW and FEEL that the changes I want to make are important to me and my family, but I hold no confidence that I can make it.
A little bit of me isn't necessarily ready to let my old life go and start new. So what will push me over the edge and make it to the next stage?
Give this a try and let me know what you think...did it work and did it provide you would more successful outcomes. I sure hope it does for me.
-Amy
Monday, April 30, 2012
Hugs
How many hugs do you get each day? Maybe you start your day with a hug, maybe a smooch or two.
In the 5 Languages of Love, it says that "It is rumored a person needs 7 hugs a day to stay healthy."
Personally, I don't think we hug enough and when we do, it seems awkward.
I am a toucher...just ask my hubby. I am always reaching out for him and holding his hand, rubbing the back of his head, scratching his back. Seriously, it's like I just can't keep my hands off! I think because I feel loved by the amount and kind of touch I receive, I also express my love and care for another person by touching them.
In what ways do you express your love and care and in what ways do you feel someone's love and care for you?
How many of you think we could all use more hugs?!
In the 5 Languages of Love, it says that "It is rumored a person needs 7 hugs a day to stay healthy."
Personally, I don't think we hug enough and when we do, it seems awkward.
I am a toucher...just ask my hubby. I am always reaching out for him and holding his hand, rubbing the back of his head, scratching his back. Seriously, it's like I just can't keep my hands off! I think because I feel loved by the amount and kind of touch I receive, I also express my love and care for another person by touching them.
In what ways do you express your love and care and in what ways do you feel someone's love and care for you?
How many of you think we could all use more hugs?!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Living on the edge...
Sometimes I wonder if anyone out there can tell how close to the edge I am. No I am NOT suicidal.
I am just frayed, stressed, tired, scared, stressed, overstretched, under paid, oh yeah did I mention stressed.
Sometimes I feel like I want to go totally postal and just have a breakdown. Any other moms out there feel the same way??
Now I know I have it easy compared to some moms out there. My little man is healthy, naughty, but healthy. He's a good eater, player, sleeper...you name it he does it. For the most part he is cooperative and pleasant. I know that I have a good husband who carries the same stresses and fears and pressures that I do and he understands when I need some time to deconsquish as we call it.
I come to work every day and I put on this mask of positivity and cooperativeness (is that a word). When really, all I want to be doing is working on little man's scrap book (which I haven't touched in months), clean out the cupboards, organize the tupperware, and clean out my closet. I want to take little man to the zoo, take a nap with him curled up next to me (since I did not do that when he was a baby). I know that I already visited this subject in a previous blog, therefore I will get back to my point, if I can remember it.
I come to work, sometimes I actually do a little bit of work while I am there. Most of the time I just can't focus on anything because there is so much that needs to be done. I hold on to the disappointment that I have absolutely NO future planning abilities at this job. No health insurance, no pay raises, no promotions, no 401K or retirement, no Flex Spending. BIG FAT NOTHING! I have been told that I could work at McDonalds for more than this. But really, I don't want to flip burgers or smell like french fries.
I think that I hold on to the way that I feel about not having the ability to plan for my family's future, even expanding our family, because I work for a company that is not invested in being a career company.
Because of the above listed inequities our debt is getting worse and we cannot make it better.
My question to those out there who may have been here before me....what is the answer to making it better?
I am just frayed, stressed, tired, scared, stressed, overstretched, under paid, oh yeah did I mention stressed.
Sometimes I feel like I want to go totally postal and just have a breakdown. Any other moms out there feel the same way??
Now I know I have it easy compared to some moms out there. My little man is healthy, naughty, but healthy. He's a good eater, player, sleeper...you name it he does it. For the most part he is cooperative and pleasant. I know that I have a good husband who carries the same stresses and fears and pressures that I do and he understands when I need some time to deconsquish as we call it.
I come to work every day and I put on this mask of positivity and cooperativeness (is that a word). When really, all I want to be doing is working on little man's scrap book (which I haven't touched in months), clean out the cupboards, organize the tupperware, and clean out my closet. I want to take little man to the zoo, take a nap with him curled up next to me (since I did not do that when he was a baby). I know that I already visited this subject in a previous blog, therefore I will get back to my point, if I can remember it.
I come to work, sometimes I actually do a little bit of work while I am there. Most of the time I just can't focus on anything because there is so much that needs to be done. I hold on to the disappointment that I have absolutely NO future planning abilities at this job. No health insurance, no pay raises, no promotions, no 401K or retirement, no Flex Spending. BIG FAT NOTHING! I have been told that I could work at McDonalds for more than this. But really, I don't want to flip burgers or smell like french fries.
I think that I hold on to the way that I feel about not having the ability to plan for my family's future, even expanding our family, because I work for a company that is not invested in being a career company.
Because of the above listed inequities our debt is getting worse and we cannot make it better.
My question to those out there who may have been here before me....what is the answer to making it better?
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The Negativity Vortex
These days it is not hard to find negativity lurking around every corner; ready to pounce on us.
I admit, I am a repeat victim of the Negativity Vortex. It can come in so many forms that we might not notice it right away.
Here is how the negativity vortex comes to attack me....1. in the form of gossip, 2. in the form of competition..3. in the form of expectations...4. in the form of being over scheduled. There are more ways, but these are the ones that are most effective at getting to me. I should also mention, bills & money.
I can tell when I have been sucked in to the Vortex because I am more crabby then normal, which means that I am short tempered with my friends and family, I isolate myself more and I feel like my emotions are totally haywire! My tolerance is next to none! I am sure that my hubby could identify other ways I show I have been sucked in to the Vortex.
But that is not the most important part of this blog posting. I think that it is important that I share how I get out of the Vortex because some of you may not know how to get out of the Vortex. To get out of the Vortex, follow these simple instructions:
1. Focus your attention on being a positive influence on someone else's life.
I repeat (because it is so important and so simple)
The only instruction you need, is to Focus your attention on being a positive influence on someone else's life!
When you are doing something good for someone else you have NO ROOM for negativity in your heart. When you have no negativity in your heart, the Vortex lets you loose.
Here are some ways that I focus my attention on being positive:
1. I start at home (because when the NV has me, I am hardest on my family)
a. make a special meal that I know my hubby likes.
b. leave little notes about the qualities I love in my hubby just to make him feel good.
c. spend special one-on-one time with the little dude
d. plan and prepare a special one-on-one time for little dude and hubby while I stay home and take care of home stuff.
2. Reach out to someone who (in some peoples' opinions) may not deserve the positive attention:
a. treat my sister to special sister time
b. make a meal for someone
c. offer to switch shifts and step in at work for another person to have some time off
d. offer to babysit someones kids so that they can have an impromptu adult evening.
Tell me some of the ways that you get yourself out of the holds of the Negativity Vortex, what works for you?
Amy
I admit, I am a repeat victim of the Negativity Vortex. It can come in so many forms that we might not notice it right away.
Here is how the negativity vortex comes to attack me....1. in the form of gossip, 2. in the form of competition..3. in the form of expectations...4. in the form of being over scheduled. There are more ways, but these are the ones that are most effective at getting to me. I should also mention, bills & money.
I can tell when I have been sucked in to the Vortex because I am more crabby then normal, which means that I am short tempered with my friends and family, I isolate myself more and I feel like my emotions are totally haywire! My tolerance is next to none! I am sure that my hubby could identify other ways I show I have been sucked in to the Vortex.
But that is not the most important part of this blog posting. I think that it is important that I share how I get out of the Vortex because some of you may not know how to get out of the Vortex. To get out of the Vortex, follow these simple instructions:
1. Focus your attention on being a positive influence on someone else's life.
I repeat (because it is so important and so simple)
The only instruction you need, is to Focus your attention on being a positive influence on someone else's life!
When you are doing something good for someone else you have NO ROOM for negativity in your heart. When you have no negativity in your heart, the Vortex lets you loose.
Here are some ways that I focus my attention on being positive:
1. I start at home (because when the NV has me, I am hardest on my family)
a. make a special meal that I know my hubby likes.
b. leave little notes about the qualities I love in my hubby just to make him feel good.
c. spend special one-on-one time with the little dude
d. plan and prepare a special one-on-one time for little dude and hubby while I stay home and take care of home stuff.
2. Reach out to someone who (in some peoples' opinions) may not deserve the positive attention:
a. treat my sister to special sister time
b. make a meal for someone
c. offer to switch shifts and step in at work for another person to have some time off
d. offer to babysit someones kids so that they can have an impromptu adult evening.
Tell me some of the ways that you get yourself out of the holds of the Negativity Vortex, what works for you?
Amy
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Dealing With The Letdown
I say to the hubby, "You pray that it's God's will that I get this job and I will pray for God's will". Really it doesn't work that way, as I so plainly saw this week. For the last month I have been waiting to hear about interviews and job offers from a county. I am a social service worker....I am not whining about that because I knew what I was getting in to when I was studying it in school, but I was hoping for some career advancement and a way to help provide for my family.
It goes back to this post and explaining that right now I can be the provider, because I have to be! Honestly, I cannot remember if I talked about why getting a different job in order to be the provider was so important to me. I work for a private/for profit agency that provides services to people with disabilities. I have been at the same company for 5 years. I have watched employees leave and instead of hiring for replacements, they "reassign" the job duties. All without a raise in compensation. Then, the budget crisis hit...We have been on a pay freeze for 3 years, they decreased the rate at which we accrue PTO and vacation and decreased the amount that we can accrue each year. And the most devastating, last year they took away our health insurance. This has been the hardest pill to swallow of all of them. It didn't really matter to me who was leaving the company, because I still had a job to do and I am damn good at it! But to not have health insurance it scary. It is a small way that I feel the company has communicated their commitment and lack of concern for its employees. A health care agency that doesn't provide health insurance!?! Sounds ludicrous, doesn't it?
It is for this reason alone that I applied for a new job...a really good job, like I could be there 20 years kind of job! All the while, I was a little hesitant in pursuing something that I didn't feel ready to do. I feel like God gave me my talent for what I do and I am turning away from that by applying for jobs that are not the same? Needless to say, I was NOT offered the job at the county! I should take comfort that out of 300 applicants I made it to top 2! While I want to be bitter about this....and angry...and sad, I just cant! For some reason (God, of course) I am simply at peace. I know that my work at this company is not over yet. I have not yet accomplished what I wanted to. So this is how I handle the let down of not getting a job I really wanted and needed in order to provide for my family. This is where Religion and a relationship with God get tough, because you have to have FAITH. I know that I have to trust God beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be taken care of and so will my family.
Tell me: what ways do you stretch your Faith and deal with let down?
Amy
It goes back to this post and explaining that right now I can be the provider, because I have to be! Honestly, I cannot remember if I talked about why getting a different job in order to be the provider was so important to me. I work for a private/for profit agency that provides services to people with disabilities. I have been at the same company for 5 years. I have watched employees leave and instead of hiring for replacements, they "reassign" the job duties. All without a raise in compensation. Then, the budget crisis hit...We have been on a pay freeze for 3 years, they decreased the rate at which we accrue PTO and vacation and decreased the amount that we can accrue each year. And the most devastating, last year they took away our health insurance. This has been the hardest pill to swallow of all of them. It didn't really matter to me who was leaving the company, because I still had a job to do and I am damn good at it! But to not have health insurance it scary. It is a small way that I feel the company has communicated their commitment and lack of concern for its employees. A health care agency that doesn't provide health insurance!?! Sounds ludicrous, doesn't it?
It is for this reason alone that I applied for a new job...a really good job, like I could be there 20 years kind of job! All the while, I was a little hesitant in pursuing something that I didn't feel ready to do. I feel like God gave me my talent for what I do and I am turning away from that by applying for jobs that are not the same? Needless to say, I was NOT offered the job at the county! I should take comfort that out of 300 applicants I made it to top 2! While I want to be bitter about this....and angry...and sad, I just cant! For some reason (God, of course) I am simply at peace. I know that my work at this company is not over yet. I have not yet accomplished what I wanted to. So this is how I handle the let down of not getting a job I really wanted and needed in order to provide for my family. This is where Religion and a relationship with God get tough, because you have to have FAITH. I know that I have to trust God beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be taken care of and so will my family.
Tell me: what ways do you stretch your Faith and deal with let down?
Amy
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Do You Subscribe?
I am loving listening to Focus on the Family! I feel totally rejuvenated in my role as Wife and Mother.
I do have to say though, that you have to be pretty open-minded when listening to the program as they tote a fairly conservative and traditional role for women. For anyone who knows me, this is not something that I am usually known for, so I do find myself enjoying the program but cringing at the level of traditionalism.
The program often talks about a woman's role as serving those around her in whatever capacity is needed...which means that the program DOES NOT say that all women should be in the home and domestic (which is what makes their conservative and traditional views tolerable). What is a little hard to swallow is that they say a woman's job is to serve her husband and her children EVEN if/when they work out of the home. That there is a sense of sacrifice no matter what way we women choose to go; stay home or work outside the home. So in essence, we women should be doing both, or able to do both.
I don't keep a lot of friendships. Not that I trash the ones I have, but I am often NOT reciprocal in my friendships. I often wonder if this is because I am so busy working FT out of the home and working FT in the home. Now remember, in this post I describe my husband, so this is NOT a bash on his efforts in the home. I am more saying that I would prefer to handle all of the domestic stuff and allow him other freedoms as these are tasks that I should be doing as the wife and mother. But....that is a big BUT...I often feel like if I add anything else to my plate I might actually crack up under the pressure and have a nervous breakdown. This is the reason why I am often not reciprocal in my friendships. This is what I believe I sacrifice in order to manage my roles as wife, mother, and FT worker outside the home.
Ok...so lets get your thoughts:
Do you subscribe to a conservative and traditional view of a woman's role?
If you do subscribe to a conservative and traditional view of a woman's role, have you always or is this new for you?
Do you find yourself struggling with this type of role and how so?
As fellow woman, what can we do for each other to lift us up is what ever roles we choose to hold in our families?
I do have to say though, that you have to be pretty open-minded when listening to the program as they tote a fairly conservative and traditional role for women. For anyone who knows me, this is not something that I am usually known for, so I do find myself enjoying the program but cringing at the level of traditionalism.
The program often talks about a woman's role as serving those around her in whatever capacity is needed...which means that the program DOES NOT say that all women should be in the home and domestic (which is what makes their conservative and traditional views tolerable). What is a little hard to swallow is that they say a woman's job is to serve her husband and her children EVEN if/when they work out of the home. That there is a sense of sacrifice no matter what way we women choose to go; stay home or work outside the home. So in essence, we women should be doing both, or able to do both.
I don't keep a lot of friendships. Not that I trash the ones I have, but I am often NOT reciprocal in my friendships. I often wonder if this is because I am so busy working FT out of the home and working FT in the home. Now remember, in this post I describe my husband, so this is NOT a bash on his efforts in the home. I am more saying that I would prefer to handle all of the domestic stuff and allow him other freedoms as these are tasks that I should be doing as the wife and mother. But....that is a big BUT...I often feel like if I add anything else to my plate I might actually crack up under the pressure and have a nervous breakdown. This is the reason why I am often not reciprocal in my friendships. This is what I believe I sacrifice in order to manage my roles as wife, mother, and FT worker outside the home.
Ok...so lets get your thoughts:
Do you subscribe to a conservative and traditional view of a woman's role?
If you do subscribe to a conservative and traditional view of a woman's role, have you always or is this new for you?
Do you find yourself struggling with this type of role and how so?
As fellow woman, what can we do for each other to lift us up is what ever roles we choose to hold in our families?
Monday, February 27, 2012
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet..."
" and a light upon my path!"
So this song plays at Mass on Ash Wednesday. And it just repeats over and over again through communion. Lately I have been praying for answers about how to be a better wife, mother, friend and person. One thing that has me so worked up at home is the messes that are left forever and another is how sick Mason keeps getting. I cannot help but feel that it is MY job as a wife and mother to care for the messes in the home and to care for my sick son, even to the point of preventing him from getting sick. I have been reading about parenting and have been listening to a lot of Family Life Today and really enjoy the program, but feel like I am severely neglecting the family and not focusing on what God says is important.
My husband, the next great Saint, is so patient with me. He actually does more than his fair share of housework and caring for our son. I just have to take a moment to say that I am so very lucky to have a husband who is as involved in the tasks that are traditionally "woman's work". I can trust my husband to take Mason to the doctor and get all the info we need to heal our son. I can send my husband to the grocery store and he can often shop better than me...he sticks to the lists! I LOVE that I have a more than equal relationship with the hubby!
But let's face it, I feel like I just want to be at home. I want to run my household, care for my man and son and be able to do all of the things on my list of "good parenting" tasks. This feeling that I just want to be domestic does not come easily or comfortably. I was raised in a home where the matriarch of our family ran the household and worked too! She did just about everything, except some things that I happen to find more important than having a spotless house. But now I see the damage this does to a woman's soul, body, and mind. I also spent many years fighting against the tradtional views of "woman's work" and fancied myself a bit modern and feminist. Through the growth and development of my understanding of God's purpose for woman, which I personally feel has been greatly misunderstood, I find myself rejecting those thoughts of feminism, modernism, and all around super-mom-ness.
So the reading that I have been doing, and the Family Life programs that I have been listening to all connect with the thoughts that I have for my future and the kind of parent, woman, wife, & friend that I want to be. So as I pray for God's guidance in these thoughts so that I may make the right decision for my family and myself, I keep hearing that chorus of that hymm play over and over in my head...
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and light upon my path".
So this song plays at Mass on Ash Wednesday. And it just repeats over and over again through communion. Lately I have been praying for answers about how to be a better wife, mother, friend and person. One thing that has me so worked up at home is the messes that are left forever and another is how sick Mason keeps getting. I cannot help but feel that it is MY job as a wife and mother to care for the messes in the home and to care for my sick son, even to the point of preventing him from getting sick. I have been reading about parenting and have been listening to a lot of Family Life Today and really enjoy the program, but feel like I am severely neglecting the family and not focusing on what God says is important.
My husband, the next great Saint, is so patient with me. He actually does more than his fair share of housework and caring for our son. I just have to take a moment to say that I am so very lucky to have a husband who is as involved in the tasks that are traditionally "woman's work". I can trust my husband to take Mason to the doctor and get all the info we need to heal our son. I can send my husband to the grocery store and he can often shop better than me...he sticks to the lists! I LOVE that I have a more than equal relationship with the hubby!
But let's face it, I feel like I just want to be at home. I want to run my household, care for my man and son and be able to do all of the things on my list of "good parenting" tasks. This feeling that I just want to be domestic does not come easily or comfortably. I was raised in a home where the matriarch of our family ran the household and worked too! She did just about everything, except some things that I happen to find more important than having a spotless house. But now I see the damage this does to a woman's soul, body, and mind. I also spent many years fighting against the tradtional views of "woman's work" and fancied myself a bit modern and feminist. Through the growth and development of my understanding of God's purpose for woman, which I personally feel has been greatly misunderstood, I find myself rejecting those thoughts of feminism, modernism, and all around super-mom-ness.
So the reading that I have been doing, and the Family Life programs that I have been listening to all connect with the thoughts that I have for my future and the kind of parent, woman, wife, & friend that I want to be. So as I pray for God's guidance in these thoughts so that I may make the right decision for my family and myself, I keep hearing that chorus of that hymm play over and over in my head...
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and light upon my path".
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