I say to the hubby, "You pray that it's God's will that I get this job and I will pray for God's will". Really it doesn't work that way, as I so plainly saw this week. For the last month I have been waiting to hear about interviews and job offers from a county. I am a social service worker....I am not whining about that because I knew what I was getting in to when I was studying it in school, but I was hoping for some career advancement and a way to help provide for my family.
It goes back to this post and explaining that right now I can be the provider, because I have to be! Honestly, I cannot remember if I talked about why getting a different job in order to be the provider was so important to me. I work for a private/for profit agency that provides services to people with disabilities. I have been at the same company for 5 years. I have watched employees leave and instead of hiring for replacements, they "reassign" the job duties. All without a raise in compensation. Then, the budget crisis hit...We have been on a pay freeze for 3 years, they decreased the rate at which we accrue PTO and vacation and decreased the amount that we can accrue each year. And the most devastating, last year they took away our health insurance. This has been the hardest pill to swallow of all of them. It didn't really matter to me who was leaving the company, because I still had a job to do and I am damn good at it! But to not have health insurance it scary. It is a small way that I feel the company has communicated their commitment and lack of concern for its employees. A health care agency that doesn't provide health insurance!?! Sounds ludicrous, doesn't it?
It is for this reason alone that I applied for a new job...a really good job, like I could be there 20 years kind of job! All the while, I was a little hesitant in pursuing something that I didn't feel ready to do. I feel like God gave me my talent for what I do and I am turning away from that by applying for jobs that are not the same? Needless to say, I was NOT offered the job at the county! I should take comfort that out of 300 applicants I made it to top 2! While I want to be bitter about this....and angry...and sad, I just cant! For some reason (God, of course) I am simply at peace. I know that my work at this company is not over yet. I have not yet accomplished what I wanted to. So this is how I handle the let down of not getting a job I really wanted and needed in order to provide for my family. This is where Religion and a relationship with God get tough, because you have to have FAITH. I know that I have to trust God beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be taken care of and so will my family.
Tell me: what ways do you stretch your Faith and deal with let down?
Amy
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