Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Negativity Vortex

These days it is not hard to find negativity lurking around every corner; ready to pounce on us.
I admit, I am a repeat victim of the Negativity Vortex.  It can come in so many forms that we might not notice it right away.
Here is how the negativity vortex comes to attack me....1. in the form of gossip, 2. in the form of competition..3. in the form of expectations...4. in the form of being over scheduled.  There are more ways, but these are the ones that are most effective at getting to me.  I should also mention, bills & money. 

I can tell when I have been sucked in to the Vortex because I am more crabby then normal, which means that I am short tempered with my friends and family, I isolate myself more and I feel like my emotions are totally haywire! My tolerance is next to none!  I am sure that my hubby could identify other ways I show I have been sucked in to the Vortex.

But that is not the most important part of this blog posting.  I think that it is important that I share how I get out of the Vortex because some of you may not know how to get out of the Vortex.  To get out of the Vortex, follow these simple instructions:
1.  Focus your attention on  being a positive influence on someone else's life.
I repeat (because it is so important and so simple)
The only instruction you need, is to Focus your attention on being a positive influence on someone else's life!
When you are doing something good for someone else you have NO ROOM for negativity in your heart.  When you have no negativity in your heart, the Vortex lets you loose.

Here are some ways that I focus my attention on being positive:
1. I start at home (because when the NV has me, I am hardest on my family)
    a. make a special meal that I know my hubby likes.
    b. leave little notes about the qualities I love in my hubby just to make him feel good.
    c. spend special one-on-one time with the little dude
    d. plan and prepare a special one-on-one time for little dude and hubby while I stay home and take care of home stuff.

2. Reach out to someone who (in some peoples' opinions) may not deserve the positive attention:
    a. treat my sister to special sister time
    b. make a meal for someone
    c. offer to switch shifts and step in at work for another person to have some time off
    d. offer to babysit someones kids so that they can have an impromptu adult evening.

Tell me some of the ways that you get yourself out of the holds of the Negativity Vortex, what works for you?

Amy

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Dealing With The Letdown

I say to the hubby, "You pray that it's God's will that I get this job and I will pray for God's will".  Really it doesn't work that way, as I so plainly saw this week.  For the last month I have been waiting to hear about interviews and job offers from a county.  I am a social service worker....I am not whining about that because I knew what I was getting in to when I was studying it in school, but I was hoping for some career advancement and a way to help provide for my family.

It goes back to this post and explaining that right now I can be the provider, because I have to be!  Honestly, I cannot remember if I talked about why getting a different job in order to be the provider was so important to me.  I work for a private/for profit agency that provides services to people with disabilities.  I have been at the same company for 5 years.  I have watched employees leave and instead of hiring for replacements, they "reassign" the job duties.  All without a raise in compensation.  Then, the budget crisis hit...We have been on a pay freeze for 3 years, they decreased the rate at which we accrue PTO and vacation and decreased the amount that we can accrue each year.  And the most devastating, last year they took away our health insurance.  This has been the hardest pill to swallow of all of them.  It didn't really matter to me who was leaving the company, because I still had a job to do and I am damn good at it!  But to not have health insurance it scary.  It is a small way that I feel the company has communicated their commitment and lack of concern for its employees.  A health care agency that doesn't provide health insurance!?! Sounds ludicrous, doesn't it?

It is for this reason alone that I applied for a new job...a really good job, like I could be there 20 years kind of job!  All the while, I was a little hesitant in pursuing something that I didn't feel ready to do.  I feel like God gave me my talent for what I do and I am turning away from that by applying for jobs that are not the same? Needless to say, I was NOT offered the job at the county!  I should take comfort that out of 300 applicants I made it to top 2!  While I want to be bitter about this....and angry...and sad, I just cant! For some reason (God, of course) I am simply at peace.  I know that my work at this company is not over yet.  I have not yet accomplished what I wanted to.  So this is how I handle the let down of not getting a job I really wanted and needed in order to provide for my family.  This is where Religion and a relationship with God get tough, because you have to have FAITH.  I know that I have to trust God beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be taken care of and so will my family.

Tell me: what ways do you stretch your Faith and deal with let down? 

Amy

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Do You Subscribe?

I am loving listening to Focus on the Family!  I feel totally rejuvenated in my role as Wife and Mother. 
I do have to say though, that you have to be pretty open-minded when listening to the program as they  tote a fairly conservative and traditional role for women.  For anyone who knows me, this is not something that I am usually known for, so I do find myself enjoying the program but cringing at the level of traditionalism.

The program often talks about a woman's role as serving those around her in whatever capacity is needed...which means that the program DOES NOT say that all women should be in the home and domestic (which is what makes their conservative and traditional views tolerable).  What is a little hard to swallow is that they say a woman's job is to serve her husband and her children EVEN if/when they work out of the home.  That there is a sense of sacrifice no matter what way we women choose to go; stay home or work outside the home.  So in essence, we women should be doing both, or able to do both.

I don't keep a lot of friendships.  Not that I trash the ones I have, but I am often NOT reciprocal in my friendships.  I often wonder if this is because I am so busy working FT out of the home and working FT in the home.  Now remember, in this post I describe my husband, so this is NOT a bash on his efforts in the home.  I am more saying that I would prefer to handle all of the domestic stuff and allow him other freedoms as these are tasks that I should be doing as the wife and mother. But....that is a big BUT...I often feel like if I add anything else to my plate I might actually crack up under the pressure and have a nervous breakdown. This is the reason why I am often not reciprocal in my friendships.  This is what I believe I sacrifice in order to manage my roles as wife, mother, and FT worker outside the home.

Ok...so lets get your thoughts: 
Do you subscribe to a conservative and traditional view of a woman's role? 
If you do subscribe to a conservative and traditional view of a woman's role, have you always or is this new for you?
Do you find yourself struggling with this type of role and how so?
As fellow woman, what can we do for each other to lift us up is what ever roles we choose to hold in our families?