So about 45 mins after I was done working out, I felt hungry......
.........so I ate.....
HALF A PIZZA! Are you kidding me?!? What a disappointment and what a waste of the hard work for that 20 mins of work out I did.
This cannot happen every time I complete a work out, or I might just get fatter!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Kettleworx
OMG! I think I am going to puke!
But I actually did some exercise. I only made it through the warm-up cardio section of the Kettleworx, Week 1 DVD and lets be 100% honest, there were many of the exercises that I could not do completely because of how unfit I am. But I did it!
I said that I would start the Kettleball workout tonight, and I did. I hope that I do not hurt too much tomorrow!
But I actually did some exercise. I only made it through the warm-up cardio section of the Kettleworx, Week 1 DVD and lets be 100% honest, there were many of the exercises that I could not do completely because of how unfit I am. But I did it!
I said that I would start the Kettleball workout tonight, and I did. I hope that I do not hurt too much tomorrow!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
One Step Closer
In accordance with Goal #1, to be healthier, I have acquired a Kettlebell work out and a 7lb Kettlebell. I am hoping to start the workout tomorrow evening. It is a 6 part work out with a combo of cardio and weight training. I can do it at home and I can break it into parts until I can do it all.
Wish me luck!
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Barriers (fancy word for excuses)
One of my responsibilities at my job is to write Individual Program Plans. Yup, that is a fancy way of saying goal plans. I am responsible for writing measurable and obtainable goals for clients. You would think that sort of makes me an expert at writing goals and making them work. But 4 days into my new goal plan for myself, I find that it is not that easy to stick with the plan. I do not have a staff person meeting with me to make sure that I am working on the goals and making progress, No one is going to come in and read my chart or have to write up a progress report on how I am doing. I guess that is why I write about it on this blog. This is my progress report on myself. This is my staff person and accountability to the goals that I have set in place for myself.
So in the first 4 days, I have failed miserably. I find that one of the reasons it has been so hard for me to actually set goals for myself is because I notice all of these "barriers" to being able to work on or reach the goals. I am acutely aware that what I call barriers are simply excuses that I keep making for my lack of commitment to my goals. So for once, this time only, I will identify my "barriers" and you can feel free to give me feedback on how to avoid or get around these barriers.
Barriers to my weight loss goal: cost of gym membership, time, super busy, cost of healthy foods, my pcos, there are just some foods my body cannot process (i.e. salads, eggs etc), my hubby seems to not have the same motivation to lose weight and be healthy (this is a big deal). I have also spent the last 6 months chronically ill with strep and related illnesses. And even bigger deal...I am afraid to fail! What if is doesn't work the way it is supposed to? What if I do not like the new me? What if I have to buy new clothes?
Barriers to my financial fitness goal: In order to be financially fit it seems like we need money in order to achieve it. With my hubby's unemployment it seems like all the options that we have in front of us cost us money or we lose out on the money that we are already making, which would clearly not help the situation. Seems like the hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper. The stress of this situation it what I think is making more susceptible to illnesses and fatigue.
As far as goal number three...the being a better me...I don't really feel like there are barriers to this goal accept that often times I am super busy and when I am not busy I am pooped!
So there you have, my excuses-barriers if you will. From this point on, I am not going to make excuses for not working on my goals, I am going to identify ways around the barriers I have identified. That is itself should be progress on the goals, right?
For anyone else out working on accomplishing some goals, you have my encouragement, good vibes, prayers, and strength by proxy or whatever else you need!
Until next time....
Amy
So in the first 4 days, I have failed miserably. I find that one of the reasons it has been so hard for me to actually set goals for myself is because I notice all of these "barriers" to being able to work on or reach the goals. I am acutely aware that what I call barriers are simply excuses that I keep making for my lack of commitment to my goals. So for once, this time only, I will identify my "barriers" and you can feel free to give me feedback on how to avoid or get around these barriers.
Barriers to my weight loss goal: cost of gym membership, time, super busy, cost of healthy foods, my pcos, there are just some foods my body cannot process (i.e. salads, eggs etc), my hubby seems to not have the same motivation to lose weight and be healthy (this is a big deal). I have also spent the last 6 months chronically ill with strep and related illnesses. And even bigger deal...I am afraid to fail! What if is doesn't work the way it is supposed to? What if I do not like the new me? What if I have to buy new clothes?
Barriers to my financial fitness goal: In order to be financially fit it seems like we need money in order to achieve it. With my hubby's unemployment it seems like all the options that we have in front of us cost us money or we lose out on the money that we are already making, which would clearly not help the situation. Seems like the hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper. The stress of this situation it what I think is making more susceptible to illnesses and fatigue.
As far as goal number three...the being a better me...I don't really feel like there are barriers to this goal accept that often times I am super busy and when I am not busy I am pooped!
So there you have, my excuses-barriers if you will. From this point on, I am not going to make excuses for not working on my goals, I am going to identify ways around the barriers I have identified. That is itself should be progress on the goals, right?
For anyone else out working on accomplishing some goals, you have my encouragement, good vibes, prayers, and strength by proxy or whatever else you need!
Until next time....
Amy
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Goal #1(Not supposed to be a PCOS Blog)
In my last post I wrote about the goals that I have for myself. The first goal that I shared is that I would like to lose weight. I mentioned that I have this pesky disorder called PCOS. Now I could do a whole blog about PCOS, but that is for another day. The main point about this for now if that the PCOS makes it much more difficult for my to lose weight.
My doctor, whom I think is fantastic, wants me to take prescription medications to "control" the symptoms of PCOS. Medications like Metformin to make my insulin more effective, Levothyroxin to stimulate proper function of my thyroid, and birth control bills to regulate my period. None of these medications cure PCOS, they just make the "cogs" of my endocrine system work together better. The problem is, when you take one medication for one thing, you most likely will have to take another medication for another thing and the cycle continues. Metformin's side effects are horrendous, to put it lightly. I do not know anyone who would want to take a medication that makes them do what this med does. The Thyroid medication does not seem to have many side effects that I can tell. I just usually experience hot flashes, which could really just be the PCOS. The birth control side effects are often unknown. I have been reading that the pill has been linked to breast cancer. AND I HAVE BEEN TAKING IT FOR YEARS! Not to mention, the moment I stop taking the pill all of my symptoms come right back.
I have known that I have PCOS since I have been 18 years old. My weight was not an issue back then, but has my body changed and I wanted to have a baby, I began reading books and articles online about "curing" PCOS. It all comes down to one thing-LOSE WEIGHT. So where does that leave me? For years I have limited/minimized my fast food intake, measured my food, limited my grain or simple carbohydrate intake, and for two years I was caffeine and soda free. I may not go to a gym, but I do walk and stay pretty active. All to no weight loss. Talk about insanity! Wasn't it Einstein who said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?" So I ask again, where does that leave me in dealing with my issues. Weight loss is the obvious start, but what can I do differently to enhance any results, or even get results?
Well, this wasn't supposed to be about PCOS, but in the end I feel that my PCOS is the home plate of my issues, fears, concerns, and emotions! Next time, I promise to be less rambly...
Amy
My doctor, whom I think is fantastic, wants me to take prescription medications to "control" the symptoms of PCOS. Medications like Metformin to make my insulin more effective, Levothyroxin to stimulate proper function of my thyroid, and birth control bills to regulate my period. None of these medications cure PCOS, they just make the "cogs" of my endocrine system work together better. The problem is, when you take one medication for one thing, you most likely will have to take another medication for another thing and the cycle continues. Metformin's side effects are horrendous, to put it lightly. I do not know anyone who would want to take a medication that makes them do what this med does. The Thyroid medication does not seem to have many side effects that I can tell. I just usually experience hot flashes, which could really just be the PCOS. The birth control side effects are often unknown. I have been reading that the pill has been linked to breast cancer. AND I HAVE BEEN TAKING IT FOR YEARS! Not to mention, the moment I stop taking the pill all of my symptoms come right back.
I have known that I have PCOS since I have been 18 years old. My weight was not an issue back then, but has my body changed and I wanted to have a baby, I began reading books and articles online about "curing" PCOS. It all comes down to one thing-LOSE WEIGHT. So where does that leave me? For years I have limited/minimized my fast food intake, measured my food, limited my grain or simple carbohydrate intake, and for two years I was caffeine and soda free. I may not go to a gym, but I do walk and stay pretty active. All to no weight loss. Talk about insanity! Wasn't it Einstein who said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?" So I ask again, where does that leave me in dealing with my issues. Weight loss is the obvious start, but what can I do differently to enhance any results, or even get results?
Well, this wasn't supposed to be about PCOS, but in the end I feel that my PCOS is the home plate of my issues, fears, concerns, and emotions! Next time, I promise to be less rambly...
Amy
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Goals...
So I know I promised that I would post some goals and begin working on them. Know that just because I have not posted anything to the web does not mean that I have not been working on them.
The goals that I have for myself are a little, really a lot, personal and it is scary for me to share them. By sharing them I am really speaking out loud the things that I see as being "wrong" on my life. It is hard for me to admit that there are things that are not working well in my life; it makes me feel shame or embarrassment.
So here goes....I am going to share the goals that I have set for myself!
1. Weight Loss- as some of you may know I struggle with PCOS. I speak pretty freely about PCOS and my struggles with it and some may say that I am often on my soap box about it, but if you are also struggling and would like to talk more about it, feel free....I am an open book. Loosing weight will help regulate and maybe even reverse some of the effects of having PCOS. Not to mention, I just do not like the way I look and feel at my weight of 225 (YIKES).
2. Financial Security- Through a series of events that began unfolding in 2009, my husband has been unemployed on more than one occasion. This has caused many an argument and frustrations in regards to our financial health. As a child I watched my parents struggle financially. I promised myself that would not be the case for myself and family. Now I find that I am right back to where my parents were. No savings to speak of, barely making ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes robbing from Peter to pay Paul. This is NOT the life I had in mind. ARGH!!! How, when you have no money to make it all better, make this situation better. This is a goal of mine! Through those aforementioned events leading to my hubby's employment situation we have racked up major medical bills and lots of debt. I have defaulted on my student loans (OUCH) and still have no end in sight. So to start this journey to financial security (or as I am looking at it, financial fitness) we are filing for bankruptcy. This is the only way that we can think of to deal with our current situation. It is embarrassing to admit that we are doing it, but it is also a little freeing to be able to speak that. I am looking at this as a starting over point for us!
3. Be a better ME- This is super general, but encompasses a lot. I want to be a better sister, friend, wife, mother, and woman of God. I want to be more confident and secure. I want to reciprocate friendships. I want to be generous with my heart and my time. I want to be a good role model for the young kids I serve at church.
So those are my goals. As personal as they are, I hope that you find a little comfort and support knowing that I too am not perfect and find flaws in myself. Feel free to share your goals with me and we can hold each other up to those goals.
~Amy
The goals that I have for myself are a little, really a lot, personal and it is scary for me to share them. By sharing them I am really speaking out loud the things that I see as being "wrong" on my life. It is hard for me to admit that there are things that are not working well in my life; it makes me feel shame or embarrassment.
So here goes....I am going to share the goals that I have set for myself!
1. Weight Loss- as some of you may know I struggle with PCOS. I speak pretty freely about PCOS and my struggles with it and some may say that I am often on my soap box about it, but if you are also struggling and would like to talk more about it, feel free....I am an open book. Loosing weight will help regulate and maybe even reverse some of the effects of having PCOS. Not to mention, I just do not like the way I look and feel at my weight of 225 (YIKES).
2. Financial Security- Through a series of events that began unfolding in 2009, my husband has been unemployed on more than one occasion. This has caused many an argument and frustrations in regards to our financial health. As a child I watched my parents struggle financially. I promised myself that would not be the case for myself and family. Now I find that I am right back to where my parents were. No savings to speak of, barely making ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes robbing from Peter to pay Paul. This is NOT the life I had in mind. ARGH!!! How, when you have no money to make it all better, make this situation better. This is a goal of mine! Through those aforementioned events leading to my hubby's employment situation we have racked up major medical bills and lots of debt. I have defaulted on my student loans (OUCH) and still have no end in sight. So to start this journey to financial security (or as I am looking at it, financial fitness) we are filing for bankruptcy. This is the only way that we can think of to deal with our current situation. It is embarrassing to admit that we are doing it, but it is also a little freeing to be able to speak that. I am looking at this as a starting over point for us!
3. Be a better ME- This is super general, but encompasses a lot. I want to be a better sister, friend, wife, mother, and woman of God. I want to be more confident and secure. I want to reciprocate friendships. I want to be generous with my heart and my time. I want to be a good role model for the young kids I serve at church.
So those are my goals. As personal as they are, I hope that you find a little comfort and support knowing that I too am not perfect and find flaws in myself. Feel free to share your goals with me and we can hold each other up to those goals.
~Amy
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
So NOT Captivating
Since it has been a long time since I have posted I would say that my life is so not captivating. I have been pondering what to blog about and all of theses great ideas come to mind and all of these things that I experience and process each day are gone from my head before I have a chance to sit in front of the computer and tell you all about it. So, that must make my life, not captivating.
But here is what is on my mind for the time being:
~Babies are miracles....I love babies! All the world's goodness is wrapped up in those little bundles of poop, puke, tears, and dare I say joy.
~Sometimes things go from bad to worse before they can get better. Sometimes we are at a dead end, but if we get stressed about it, does it do anything to fix the problem?
~In a time when people's marriages are ending all around us, what makes our marraige solid? Is divorce an epidemic?
~ Can we live on love, alone? For the record, I think love is the best part of living and I think that it will take us great places.
~I want to change, but making changes are hard. And what if I fail? If I do not succeed at making the changes, everyone will know I am a failure.
Those are just a few of my thoughts and not sure where they will take me from here. Hoping to have something a little more uplifting and captivating for the next blog.
But here is what is on my mind for the time being:
~Babies are miracles....I love babies! All the world's goodness is wrapped up in those little bundles of poop, puke, tears, and dare I say joy.
~Sometimes things go from bad to worse before they can get better. Sometimes we are at a dead end, but if we get stressed about it, does it do anything to fix the problem?
~In a time when people's marriages are ending all around us, what makes our marraige solid? Is divorce an epidemic?
~ Can we live on love, alone? For the record, I think love is the best part of living and I think that it will take us great places.
~I want to change, but making changes are hard. And what if I fail? If I do not succeed at making the changes, everyone will know I am a failure.
Those are just a few of my thoughts and not sure where they will take me from here. Hoping to have something a little more uplifting and captivating for the next blog.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Deflated
Like a balloon, I feel deflated. One of my goals, which I have yet to reveal, is about being more organized and more efficiant and getting things accomplished. I feel like I have taken a giant step backwards and I am really having a hard time being productive.
From time to time I daydream about being a stay at home mom. I would love...no, LOVE to spend my days with my little boy. I know that he is safe at his school and I know that he is learning a lot more than what I could teach him at home and he likes it, but I have hit a road block at work, which makes me want to be home.
In all actuality I like what I do. I don't live to do it, rather I do it to make a living. But, as human service jobs go, this one is being tough. No medical benefits, no pay raises-instead pay cuts, and lots of things that need to be fixed. These things make it tough to want to keep going and busting my back. I know that I need to be able to access Health Insurance benefits and I know that I need to play my part in providing for my family, which means financial security. But how do I begin? How do I come to terms with the reality that is interviewing and hoping to get hired? How do I decide what I want to do? I think often about getting out of social services as this field hinges upon how people vote and how our state leaders make decisions. So as I asked before, how do I begin?
From time to time I daydream about being a stay at home mom. I would love...no, LOVE to spend my days with my little boy. I know that he is safe at his school and I know that he is learning a lot more than what I could teach him at home and he likes it, but I have hit a road block at work, which makes me want to be home.
In all actuality I like what I do. I don't live to do it, rather I do it to make a living. But, as human service jobs go, this one is being tough. No medical benefits, no pay raises-instead pay cuts, and lots of things that need to be fixed. These things make it tough to want to keep going and busting my back. I know that I need to be able to access Health Insurance benefits and I know that I need to play my part in providing for my family, which means financial security. But how do I begin? How do I come to terms with the reality that is interviewing and hoping to get hired? How do I decide what I want to do? I think often about getting out of social services as this field hinges upon how people vote and how our state leaders make decisions. So as I asked before, how do I begin?
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Accountability
One of the reasons why I decided to start this blog is because I would like to make some changes in my life. I would like to be a better me for myself and those around me. I have been reading one of the blogs that I follow and this woman has really inspired me to make some changes in my life. I already knew I wanted to make some changes before reading her blog, but I feel more motivated for those changes now that I have become a follower of her blog.
This woman is honest and open with how she is feeling. She is real! What I like about her blog is that she and I have some similarities and she has spoken, well written really, opening about her fears of failures and not being able to keep the changes once they occur. So this blog is also about accountability for me. I need and want to be accountable for who I am and who I want to be. This is not about low self-esteem, because I am very confident in myself.
I will share my goals with you after I have taken the time to come up with the whys and hows of them.
Do you have any goals or life changes that you have been thinking about making? Please feel free to share!
This woman is honest and open with how she is feeling. She is real! What I like about her blog is that she and I have some similarities and she has spoken, well written really, opening about her fears of failures and not being able to keep the changes once they occur. So this blog is also about accountability for me. I need and want to be accountable for who I am and who I want to be. This is not about low self-esteem, because I am very confident in myself.
I will share my goals with you after I have taken the time to come up with the whys and hows of them.
Do you have any goals or life changes that you have been thinking about making? Please feel free to share!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Blog, Really?
I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for some time now, and finally took the plunge. I read a few peoples' blogs and have found them enlightening and enjoyable. I think there are reasons for starting my blog, This Captivating Life, and I am not sure if I know all of those reasons yet. Can I just say that it is something that feel called to do at this moment?
Like many women, I am a verbal processor...I have to talk things through and even when I should be all talked out about a topic, I keep talking about it. I have attempted to journal my thoughts and experiences, but that seems to be short lived and I give up on it almost right away. Sometimes I feel like I have an inner monologue that is just screaming to be put onto a blog...so here I am. I only hope that I can be as inspiring as the bloggers that I follow.
A little bit about me: I am a dreamer, and I need to allow myself to remember that part of me, and so in this blog, I might get a little grand and unrealistic sometimes. I am spiritual; I may express my spirituality through my blog posts. I have been provided for in ways only explainable by faith and I may choose to share those experiences. I am human; I may not always be the best version of myself, but that is what this blog is supposed to do for me, be the best version of myself. Feel free to use this blog as an opportunity to be the best version of yourself as well.
Welcome to My Captivating Life!
Like many women, I am a verbal processor...I have to talk things through and even when I should be all talked out about a topic, I keep talking about it. I have attempted to journal my thoughts and experiences, but that seems to be short lived and I give up on it almost right away. Sometimes I feel like I have an inner monologue that is just screaming to be put onto a blog...so here I am. I only hope that I can be as inspiring as the bloggers that I follow.
A little bit about me: I am a dreamer, and I need to allow myself to remember that part of me, and so in this blog, I might get a little grand and unrealistic sometimes. I am spiritual; I may express my spirituality through my blog posts. I have been provided for in ways only explainable by faith and I may choose to share those experiences. I am human; I may not always be the best version of myself, but that is what this blog is supposed to do for me, be the best version of myself. Feel free to use this blog as an opportunity to be the best version of yourself as well.
Welcome to My Captivating Life!
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