Once again I find myself struggling with Sunday.
I am thinking of all the things I wanted to do over the weekend and all the things that I did not get done.
I am thinking about all the things the I have to get done at work this week. The pressure of getting my billing done, the pressure of getting reassessments entered and then...tie up ALL loose ends. Don't forget to answer the phone, be compassionate, file the paperwork and the list goes on.
Once again I feel the struggle between the need to work for income and the ingrained, deep in my heart need to be home and taking caring of all the household things that get neglected while I am at work.
I am sitting here, goofing around on the internet when I should be doing something "work" related or "home" related and I can't help but feel like it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, I am not going to get any of it done.
I took some time yesterday to enjoy the day. I spent the day in one of my favorite cities with a young lady getting ready to move to that city. The whole time I was down there I felt amazing. I felt so renewed. I felt like a young lady myself getting excited about starting my life as a college student. Now I cannot harness any of that excitement, energy and newness into what I need/must do to get things accomplished.
This makes me think that I am working to hard to accomplish the things that I am not really supposed to be working to accomplish.
But how I make a change? What change do I make? If I stop working, are we going to be financially stable? These are all questions that I am not sure how to answer or even if there is an answer.
For now, each day I feel a struggle. I feel myself being pulled. But I have to wonder when will my breaking point come and at what cost?
No comments:
Post a Comment