Delayed

Sorry for the lack of updates.  It has been long and difficult couple of days.
First, the 500 calories a day has made me very tired and very hungry and very crabby!
Second, I was not able to keep my blood sugar high enough to feel well through this process.  My blood sugar got as low as 55 and only as high at 87.  It was dropping after I would eat, which is the wrong direction!

I knew there was a chance that my PCOS and insulin resistance would complicate this process, but I didn't know how much.  I also did not loose any weight.  On the up side, I did however, successfully cleanse myself of soda and caffeine.  Until I can decide what I am going to do now, I will remain caffeine free!

My apologies for those of you who might have been looking for a great result, I know that I am bummed!

Amy

Here Comes the Hard Days

Today was day 2 of Gorging and HCG drops.  It was tough for me to gorge today as I was not as planned as I should have been.  Hubby and I spent a lot of money on fast food for these 2 gorge days as we knew these items had a high fat content.  I am just hoping that we did enough to prevent us from struggling tomorrow.
Start weight today for me was 215.  Might be a fluke, but it was down 2 lbs.  Hubby's weight was a mistake yesterday.  His initial weigh in was 252.  He weighed in today at 250, also down 2 lbs.  We shall see is this trend keeps up.

So the rest of this week's meals are as follows:
Wednesday: Breakfast-none & drops.  Lunch: 100grams Chicken breast (cooked on forman grill), Sliced cucumbers, strawberries.  Homemade dressing for the cucumbers. Drops & lots of water.  Dinner-Taco salad a la HCG regulations. Drops & lots of water.
Thursday: Breakfast-none & drops and water.  Lunch: Asian Salad (with chicken and orange), drops & water. Dinner: Bunless burgers, cucumbers, & Apple Salad.  Drops & water.
Friday: Breakfast-none & drops. Lunch- Apple Cobbler, Celery Sticks & 100 grams steak.  Drops & water.  Dinner- Chicken fajitas with celery and grapefruit. Drops & water.

I will post my recipes when I have more time.  Right now I need to prep for tomorrow's meals.  I am pre-cooking the chicken breasts and pre-measuring out the beef so that it all matches the regulations.

Thanks for the support!

Amy

Day 1 (Gorge Day)

Today was day 1 of the HCG diet.  Stats: Me: 217 lbs, Bust: 49 '',  Belly/Waistline 45 3/4'', Hips 45''.  Hubby: Wt 257#, Neck 18'', Chest 48 1/4'', Belly/mid-section 49 1/4 inches, Waist 46 1/2''.

Gorge day is the first day of HCG drops and we are supposed to gorge ourselves until we are full.  The more we gorge on, the less hungry and cranky we will likely be the rest of the week after the gorge days.  It was actually tough to gorge for me, because as a result of the drops, I had no appetite.  Here's what we ate: Fried egg and cheese sandwich, cereal bar, almonds and walnuts, popcorn, choc. chip cookies, Chipotle for lunch with lots of sour cream and guacamole, hot dogs, mac and cheese, doritos, red velvet cup cakes and peanut better toast.  YIKES!!  Not to mention, I almost drank half my weight in ounces of water today.  OY!

Tomorrow is more of the same, as it is the last gorge day until we start the VLCD (very low caloric diet) portion of the HCG plan.  Now that I don't feel like I am hungry or have an appetite, I think I can manage this for 30 days.  Check back with me and forgive me if I have changed my mind at the end of the week.

I will be posting our beginning photos and our menus plus shopping experiences, so stay tuned....



Amy

What it is

In my last post I explained that the hubby and I were beginning the HCG diet/cleanse very soon.  Well, it struck me that there might be people who do not know what the HCG diet is.
Basically, it is taking natural Human Chorionic Gonadotropin and eating a 500 calorie diet for 26 days.  There are no refined sugars, no sugars, and no cheating.  We are supposed to stick to a very strict menu of food items and cannot eat anything processed {hence the cleanse portion}.  There is no working out during this 26 days as we will be burning far too many calories to eat only 500 calories and exercise on top of it.

After the 500 cal 26 days with the drops, for 26 more days we eat an increased diet, without the drops.  We should only increase our intake by a tiny bit, but still keeping processed foods and sugars out of our diets.  It has been found that through this process the Hypothalamus {which is in the brain} resets what it thinks is your base weight.  The hypothalamus also helps regulate other stuff too.  I can actually reset my Thyroid through this process and get it to work properly again too.  When those two things are working properly for me, guess what, so will my reproductive organs.  I might for the first time since high school, have a normal/regular menstrual cycle.  As a result, when the time is right, Hubby and I may not have to use fertility treatments in order to conceive.  While the thought of getting pregnant is both thrilling and scary, that is NOT the driving force behind starting this diet/cleanse.  I know that I am not healthy enough at this time to even support and growing fetus.

For anyone out there who is thinking that I am insane for doing this and that I am making a big mistake, you should know that I have done so many other things to try to get my weight back to a normal weight and normal BMI.  I have been 220 lbs since I stopped nursing is 2010.  I was 220 lbs when I conceived Little Man through infertility treatments.  I lost weight while I was pregnant {how does that happen} even though I was not sick one minute of my pregnancy.

I have done my research and I have tried many many other things.  My endocrinologist suggested I have Gastric Bypass.  NO THANK YOU!!  So I am doing this instead!

I will share my progress and my experience through this 26 days.

Amy

Ch-Ch-Changes

Change comes in many forms.  We all have ideas of what we would change and the reasons behind those changes.  When change isn't successful or we don't see it through all the way, we can get discouraged and give up.  This is a pattern with which I am quite familiar.    Learning how to break this pattern can be quite difficult and I feel like I am on the path to breaking it, so I wanted to share with others what I have learned. 
For a while now I have been at the contemplation stage of [big fancy psychology word] change.  I have been essentially deciding whether or not I want to make permanent changes to my life.  Ironically, my journey through the stages of change parallels that of the clients I serve through adult mental health services.  This month I have been working with clients that are not really progressing on to the next stages of change (aka...managing their mental health symptoms enough to overcome barriers to adaptable life).  So the 5 stages of this model of change are pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance.  I think that I smash together the contemplation and action stages and skip the preparation stage...guess what, this sets me up for failure and disappointment.  

When deciding to make changes in ones life, we should look at the 3 elements of motivational interviewing to really determine the level of commitment to making said changes.  The 3 elements can be measured on the Ruler of change (1 through 10, 1 least 10 most). 
When making plans for a change in your life here are the elements to ask yourself about.
1.  Importance:  How important is this to me on a scale of 1-10?
2. Confidence: How confident am I that I will be successful on a scale of 1-10?
3. Readiness:  How ready am I for this change to happen on a scale of 1-10?

If importance his high and confidence is high, but readiness is low, then changes are there will be no progression towards reaching whatever the goal may be.

This might explain why I am stuck in the contemplation stage.  Not all of the scores of my Ruler for change are high.  In fact, I am not sure that any of my scores on those 3 elements are high enough to move to another stage.  Importance is the highest ranking element, because intellectually I KNOW and FEEL that the changes I want to make are important to me and my family, but I hold no confidence that I can make it.
A little bit of me isn't necessarily ready to let my old life go and start new.  So what will push me over the edge and make it to the next stage?

Give this a try and let me know what you think...did it work and did it provide you would more successful outcomes.  I sure hope it does for me.

-Amy

Kettleworx

OMG!  I think I am going to puke!
But I actually did some exercise.  I only made it through the warm-up cardio section of the Kettleworx, Week 1 DVD and lets be 100% honest, there were many of the exercises that I could not do completely because of how unfit I am.  But I did it!

I said that I would start the Kettleball workout tonight, and I did.  I hope that I do not hurt too much tomorrow!

One Step Closer

In accordance with Goal #1, to be healthier, I have acquired a Kettlebell work out and a 7lb Kettlebell.  I am hoping to start the workout tomorrow evening.  It is a 6 part work out with a combo of cardio and weight training.  I can do it at home and I can break it into parts until I can do it all.

Wish me luck!

Barriers (fancy word for excuses)

One of my responsibilities at my job is to write Individual Program Plans.  Yup, that is a fancy way of saying goal plans.  I am responsible for writing measurable and obtainable goals for clients.  You would think that sort of makes me an expert at writing goals and making them work.  But 4 days into my new goal plan for myself, I find that it is not that easy to stick with the plan.  I do not have a staff person meeting with me to make sure that I am working on the goals and making progress,  No one is going to come in and read my chart or have to write up a progress report on how I am doing.  I guess that is why I write about it on this blog.  This is my progress report on myself.  This is my staff person and accountability to the goals that I have set in place for myself. 

So in the first 4 days, I have failed miserably.  I find that one of the reasons it has been so hard for me to actually set goals for myself is because I notice all of these "barriers" to being able to work on or reach the goals.  I am acutely aware that what I call barriers are simply excuses that I keep making for my lack of commitment to my goals. So for once, this time only, I will identify my "barriers" and you can feel free to give me feedback on how to avoid or get around these barriers.

Barriers to my weight loss goal: cost of gym membership, time, super busy, cost of healthy foods, my pcos, there are just some foods my body cannot process (i.e. salads, eggs etc), my hubby seems to not have the same motivation to lose weight and be healthy (this is a big deal).  I have also spent the last 6 months chronically ill with strep and related illnesses.  And even bigger deal...I am afraid to fail! What if is doesn't work the way it is supposed to?  What if I do not like the new me?  What if I have to buy new clothes?

Barriers to my financial fitness goal:  In order to be financially fit it seems like we need money in order to achieve it.  With my hubby's unemployment it seems like all the options that we have in front of us cost us money or we lose out on the money that we are already making, which would clearly not help the situation. Seems like the hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper.  The stress of this situation it what I think is making more susceptible to illnesses and fatigue. 

As far as goal number three...the being a better me...I don't really feel like there are barriers to this goal accept that often times I am super busy and when I am not busy I am pooped!

So there you have, my excuses-barriers if you will.  From this point on, I am not going to make excuses for not working on my goals, I am going to identify ways around the barriers I have identified. That is itself should be progress on the goals, right?

For anyone else out working on accomplishing some goals, you have my encouragement, good vibes, prayers, and strength by proxy or whatever else you need!

Until next time....
Amy

Goal #1(Not supposed to be a PCOS Blog)

In my last post I wrote about the goals that I have for myself.  The first goal that I shared is that I would like to lose weight.  I mentioned that I have this pesky disorder called PCOS.  Now I could do a whole blog about PCOS, but that is for another day.  The main point about this for now if that the PCOS makes it much more difficult for my to lose weight. 

My doctor, whom I think is fantastic, wants me to take prescription medications to "control" the symptoms of PCOS.  Medications like Metformin to make my insulin more effective, Levothyroxin to stimulate proper function of my thyroid, and birth control bills to regulate my period.  None of these medications cure PCOS, they just make the "cogs" of my endocrine system work together better.  The problem is, when you take one medication for one thing, you most likely will have to take another medication for another thing and the cycle continues.  Metformin's side effects are horrendous, to put it lightly.  I do not know anyone who would want to take a medication that makes them do what this med does.  The Thyroid medication does not seem to have many side effects that I can tell.  I just usually experience hot flashes, which could really just be the PCOS.  The birth control side effects are often unknown.  I have been reading that the pill has been linked to breast cancer.  AND I HAVE BEEN TAKING IT FOR YEARS!  Not to mention, the moment I stop taking the pill all of my symptoms come right back. 

I have known that I have PCOS since I have been 18 years old.  My weight was not an issue back then, but has my body changed and I wanted to have a baby, I began reading books and articles online about "curing" PCOS.  It all comes down to one thing-LOSE WEIGHT.  So where does that leave me?  For years I have limited/minimized my fast food intake, measured my food, limited my grain or simple carbohydrate intake, and for two years I was caffeine and soda free.  I may not go to a gym, but I do walk and stay pretty active.  All to no weight loss.  Talk about insanity!  Wasn't it Einstein who said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?" So I ask again, where does that leave me in dealing with my issues.  Weight loss is the obvious start, but what can I do differently to enhance any results, or even get results?

Well, this wasn't supposed to be about PCOS, but in the end I feel that my PCOS is the home plate of my issues, fears, concerns, and emotions!  Next time, I promise to be less rambly...

Amy